Sick,but a silver lining

Well, I've been home sick the last few days. I think at this point that it must be the flu, despite having taken regular and H1N1 flu shots. Not fair! The silver lining is that I've had little to no appetite. I've been drinking a ton of fluids, so maybe this will add up to some weight loss by this weekend. It sure does point out how much I do around the house, though. My dH is getting so grumpy about having to do all the little chores I normally take care of, especially with regard to getting the kids school and extracurricular schedules/needs taken care of. He had to do shopping for Easter stuff and birthday presents yesterday, and he was on the phone with me getting constant info on what he should buy. Am I making him helpless by doing so much? Sure seems like it. He was even mad at our helper for moving some opened mail off the dining room table--said he'd rather live in a pigsty than have someone moving stuff around all the time. Am I wrong to have a minor panic when he says things like that? Right now, she's a whole lot more help than he is. I did manage to keep that opinion to myself last night, but come on...when I'm so sick I can't get out of bed except to go to the bathroom and get something to drink, is it so much to ask for a little help? Yikes. Today seems better in terms of the coughing--it was so bad earlier this week that my ribs still hurt. I sincerely hope I can get back into the swing of things soon.

Back from Down Under

Sorry for not posting lately, we just returned from a trip Down Under. Yes, we went to Australia! What a great trip. We shared a house with my sister and her family, who were going on to visit their inlaws there. I feel really good about this trip. While my eating was not perfect (they have a great love for fish and chips and meat pies there!), it was a very active vacation. We did a ton of walking and playing on the beach, etc. I was so happy that I was able to do most of what I wanted to do. We hiked up to the Natural Bridge, and I managed just fine. I spent the day walking around amusement parks, and I enjoyed it. Even on the last day, when we were in Sydney walking around the waterfront area, I led the family--even DH, who is usually a psychotically fast walker, was tired. The trip reminded me of what the payoff can be of taking off even a few pounds and improving fitness. I don't have to be a triathlete to get these benefits.

Children are so clear...

I was watching Dr. Oz the other day with my youngest, A--she's 5. She wanted to snuggle with me, so she was putting up with watching a grownup show. I do worry about her from time to time. She's really tall for her age, but she's also a little pudgy. I just worry about her because of my husband and my propensity for being overweight. Anyhow, we're watching the show, and there's a very graphic demonstration of what your arteries look like if you're a diabetic. Basically, he used a plastic tube with a sludgy paste (too much sugar) poured through it, loaded up with some chunks of styrofoam (cholesterol), then tried to pour red liquid through it (blood). It looked a mess. Right then, A shouted at me--I never want diabetes!!!!

It really opened up a good dialogue about how eating the right things can help you avoid diabetes, especially if it doesn't already run in your family (luckily it does not for either my husband or I). She told me I'd better be packing more fruits and veggies in her snack. What a great teachable moment. She also told me I was a little fat and I'd better do something about it--I said I knew that I was, and that I'd already lost 15 pounds, and was working to do more. All that made her pretty happy. It's amazing how clear and simple things are for kids...I have to remember this for later when things seem so complicated.

Better choices

Had a good, busy weekend with some decent choices in the face of what could have been disastrous for the eating plan. The weekend started out with a happy hour, with heavy horsd'oeuvres (I hope that's spelled right). I stuck with a couple glasses of red wine and ate sparingly, with a focus on shrimp. I even left food on the plate because it was way too greasy for my taste. Saturday night was another buffet dinner. Luckily, I'm on the board of the organization that held the dinner, so I was pretty busy. I did make a point of walking there, since I had to be there in advance of the rest of the family. When I did get to the dinner buffet, I was pleased to see that they had lots of good veggie choices, grilled chicken, and sushi. I opted not to drink alcohol that night, so the calories were definitely reasonable. Sunday I got out the crock pot and decided to make a creamy green chile chicken stew, but with WW-friendly ingredients. Although the kids really wanted to go out, I fought them off, served them chicken nuggets (which is probably what they would have eaten at the restaurant anyhow) and ate my delicious, figure-friendly soup.

I wish I could say that all this added up to a loss this week--alas, it did not. I weighed in at 265, which is slightly above last week. This could be due to TOM, but is also probably related to a few cookies that sneaked into our house and my gullet. I really have to stop bringing them home, even when they're half off at the bakery! Can't set a bargain price on my health! All I can do is keep working at this, and I have faith that the results will eventually manifest.

A Perfect Storm

Well, it's an ugly truth, but I'm realizing lately how dependent I am on food for self-soothing. This last week I've been SOOO irritable. Everything's getting on my nerves. Last night, I had a tantrum worthy of a 3 year old over the fact that the drumsticks to our newly bought WII "Rock Band 2" had gone missing. Granted, it is frustrating when you consider that we've only had this thing for a week, but it is what it is. Anyway, one thing led to another, and I'm on a rant about everything from juice stains on the floor to dishes left in the computer room.

Why am I so aggravated over these little things? I think it's partly due to PMS, but also because my mouth is still very sensitive from all the dental work I've had lately. I've tried to sneak a couple yummy things in to make myself feel better (half cookie, you know who you are!), but instead of making me feel better, it made my mouth hurt more--no fair! Without that crutch it's amazing how grouchy I feel--yikes. Am I really that dependent on the comfort I'm getting from food--that's a sad realization. I've got to find other ways to relax and de-stress. On getting up this morning, I lost an earring, couldn't find my mom's wedding ring (eventually it did show up), walked into a kitchen stickified by spilled chocolate milk, couldn't get on the internet to send myself a document needed to send to the estate lawyer for my MIL's affairs, and the list goes on. I think I'd better work on some breathing exercises.:)

On the up side, I did get a good walk in--I spent my entire lunch hour hiking up to what they call "toy alley" here in search of a cat in the hat costume for my son, who has to do a presentation on Dr. Seuss next week. While I'd normally order this kind of thing, the short notice prevented that this time. So it was like a little treasure hunt--found most of what I needed, but of course no one had the iconic red and white striped hat--we'll have to fake it I guess, with another hat. Anyhow, got my activity points in for the day, which is good. I really don't mind exercising when it involves a good urban hike. It's a lot of fun exploring here.

Yuppie angst

Had some interesting revelations over the weekend. The first one came when DH mentioned that we could have walked to the store instead of driving. Now, we had a 5 year old with us, and we wanted to do some shopping, so unless he was ready to carry all of the above I wasn't ready to do that. He got on his familiar rant about how we're both too lazy and should be exercising more--he's got a weight issue also. Just beyond aggravating to me, but that's another story. Anyway, I started talking to him about how walking and/or waiting for a bus makes me feel like a giant loser. Wow, did those words come out of my mouth? I did not realize I felt that way, but there it is. Truth is, I did not learn to drive until about the age of 27, so I spent a lot of my youth waiting on friends' rides, the bus, or walking in uncomfortable situations. So the car is important for me, I guess. What a strange discovery. Funny enough, I can do the treadmill indoors but feel very self-conscious walking outdoors. I wonder if this has anything to do with my non-driving past.

The second revelation came at a potluck I attended with a few other ladies. We get together often just to catch up and gab. They are a good group, but last night the topics seemed to converge around minor plastic surgery and weight loss tea. I really had nothing to add on these topics. I'm not about to get plastic surgery, and it just seems foolish to me to do spend a lot of money on an oriental tea that supposedly helps you to lose weight. Serious money, too--$500 a month is what these ladies were saying. No one seems to know what's in it, but they were told it contains ephedra, and they still wanted to do it. Am I crazy to think this is a bad idea? Of course (and here's where the revelation comes in), I felt utterly unable to comment. Why? Because I'm way heavier than any of them. In fact, I didn't even volunteer that I'd already lost some weight, or how I was doing it.

I think that because I have a serious problem I didn't feel I could engage in such a light conversation about it. I've noticed this even among this small circle of friends. For example, one of the ladies has a son with some serious behavioral issues that are under medical treatment. I never hear her participate in our lighthearted bemoaning of our own kids' foibles. Probably for the same reasons--just too serious an issue to engage in a light way. I also am ashamed of my situation--don't ask me why not talking about it would make this any better, but that's surely the outcome. Maybe she feels the same way about her son's condition, I really don't know.

Maybe this was my weekend for angst, I do not know. I just have a feeling that everyone else is on top of things and I'm not. When I went over to this friend's house, I was shocked at how beautifully she decorates, how organized her house was, her table settings, blablabla. She works outside the home, and has two kids. So what is my problem? I'm frustrated at how disorganized things are at my house, how I have to nag to get anything done, and how much effort even the simple things seem to take. Maybe everyone else stays up til midnight to get everything done? I don't know--I sure haven't found the magic formula yet.

No tooth fairy for me!

Sadly enough, my troubled tooth had to be removed. What a gross process. Needless to say, I won't be getting any presents from the tooth fairy--I think she only likes nice, well-behaved teeth from little children. So I've spent the last couple of days popping ibuprofen and drinking smooothies. I guess it's good from the weight loss perspective because all the grossness has really cut my appetite, and eating is uncomfortable, so there you are--always a silver lining here!

Close on the heels of my dental drama, I had to go to a pre-existing appointment with my endo for the thyroid followup. In general, I was really happy with this appointment. First, my doc actually noticed and sounded encouraging about my weight loss so far. This is the same doc that recommended lap band or the off-label use of a diabetic drug for weight loss. So I'm glad she's on board with my approach--it will make things a lot easier, especially if she understands that slow loss is still OK. All my numbers looked good as far as the thyroid is concerned. My blood pressure was a little on the high side, but she felt confident that it would go down with the weight loss and exercise. I really want to go back to the "Thyroid Diet" book and refresh my recollection on her recommendations.

Well, too many medical procedures in one week if you ask me. The down side is that it's thrown a monkey wrench in my exercising routine for the last couple of days. The upside is that my eating has slowed way down, so maybe it will even out. As I always do, I weighed myself this morning, and will do so Saturday and Sunday, then pick the lowest weight of the three. This morning was not bad. 264.4. We'll see if I can improve on that number over the weekend.

Frittatas are good!

Glad to report that I managed to make the egg white frittata I was talking about yesterday, and it actually came out really well! Not sure that it technically qualifies as a frittata, but I bought a red pepper and some zucchini, which I sauteed with onion in a little olive oil. Once these were nice and soft, I added in some lean chopped up ham. I put this in a rectangular casserole with about a cup and a half of southern style frozen hash browns. I poured about a cup and a half of egg whites over this mix, then sprinkled a tiny bit of grated parmesan over the top. I cooked it until the middle was firm, probably a half hour at 400 degrees. I sliced it into about 6 squares, which when I put it into recipe builder came out to about 3 pts. apiece. Had this with some cut up apples this morning for breakfast--very indulgent! Once I figure out how to take and post photos better, I'd like to post some pix.

It's good I made some soft food, because I woke up with a hella toothache this morning! I have been doing lots of dental work lately, catching up on work not done over the last four years in Russia. Don't ask me why, but I was very hesitant about going to the dentist there--their medical standards are not that great, IMHO, and the traffic was TERRIBLE. I felt like I was taking my life in my hands every time I went out, so I rarely took trips that I deemed "optional." Anyhow, now I'm paying the price. I was at the dentist last week, got started on a root canal on one side of my mouth, and now I have a toothache on the other side, where I have had a tooth that has already been a lot of trouble over the years. Sigh. Maybe I'll be forced on an all liquid diet if both sides are out of commission.

I did continue to write everything down last night. I even did this before deciding whether to have a dessert. In fact, I chose a yogurt because I hadn't gotten much dairy in during the day. Wow, I'm almost acting like a rational grownup here, eating healthy and getting dental work done...what's next, doing my taxes well before April 15? Well, let's not get too crazy here.

I also did at least a token amount of exercise last night--15 minutes of the Sansone video. My muscles felt really tired from the night before, so I did not push too hard. My goal is still to be strong enough for our upcoming trip to Australia (end of March) to enjoy our activities there. Luckily, I don't see any half-marathons in our future, so we should be OK. I have had too many vacations where I'm sitting and watching the action, and I don't like that--I want to be part of it! So I have to keep that in mind when I want to wimp out on the exercise. Life is too short to be spent sitting on the bench.

Monkey see monkey do

Last night went pretty well. I did manage to write everything down that I ate, so that's a step in the right direction. It helped that I made taco soup, which filled me beyond the point of being comfortable once it actually registered in my stomach. Lots O fiber--yikes. I had no desire to snack or even have dessert after that!

Amazingly, I actually was able to move after that, and did a Leslie Sansone workout that I haven't done for quite a while. I really like it because it's an interval type workout with "enhanced walking" AKA jogging. It really makes me feel like I'm doing something, which is important after sitting at a desk all day. I felt like I needed to get out some steam also--nothing like coming home after the rest of your family has had the day off and finding that nothing's been done! I mean, come on...dinner's not started, cr*p all over the house, and a dishful of dishes with the dishwasher full of dirty dishes also. Kind of a bummer. So, I guess I count that as a step forward, not eating my frustration but kicking it with Leslie.

I'm noticing something else, too, when it comes to exercise (and eating for that matter). It's monkey see, monkey do, for better or for worse. My kids will pick up a cookie if I do (it's really disheartening to me), but they will also dance alongside me to exercise videos. Hmmmm....which should I choose...duh!

I'm going to go shopping after work to buy a few things to make a frittata--sounds good. I have lots of egg whites, which I actually like, but was thinking that the mornings will be a lot less hectic if I make a large frittata to subdivide for breakfasts for the rest of this week. We'll see how it goes.

Lunch today was good--I have recently discovered "grilled fish alley" here in Seoul. It's literally an alley with a bunch of hole in the wall grilled fish restaurants. As far as I can figure out, this is a pretty healthy option. The fish is simply grilled, and they serve it with seaweed soup, rice, and lots of veggie sides (kind of kimchi relatives). I don't usually eat much rice, so I figure it to be under 500 calories, and I'm pretty stuffed by the end of it. There is just no way to eat a whole fish quickly with chopsticks, especially if you don't want to ingest a ton of bones. It's a good way to slow down your eating so you can tell when you actually feel full.

Now all I have to deal with is the evening. Right now (about 3 in the afternoon), I'm not in the least bit hungry. I'm sure I will be by dinner. We'll see if anyone has started dinner. I have been doing a dinner plan for the week, with recipes attached and ingredients bought for the week. Well, I can always dream, can't I? :)